Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Randomize
