Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
