But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
