erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
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