What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
