i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
