You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Randomize
