Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
