Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Do you still have your period?
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The feeling are messing with the penis
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
