she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
