Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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