did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
