garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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