Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
try to milk me bitch
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
