I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
