Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
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