I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
