I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
