Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
