i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
