If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
