Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
