DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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