great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
