Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
