Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I feel great
I just peed on a car
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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