Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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