IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
