8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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