At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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