ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
