I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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