somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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