Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
