Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
