i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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