Fuck appropriateness.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
