Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
