well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
