I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
