i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Drunk is not a location!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
