we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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