oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
