you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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