I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
