yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
