You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
