Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
