You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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