im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
