Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
